the last day of 2009

it was supposed to be a joyous occasion as we welcome a brand new year but i received a pretty bad news in the morning that might just affect me for the rest of my life. yes that's how serious it is. although nothing is confirm yet.. but i just pray for the best. pray for me too. dont worry it's not life threatening. and the doctor say "at least it's not cancer." but fuck at that moment i was thinking "I WOULD RATHER IT BE CANCER than being alive and aware to suffer this. i'm not that strong seriously. although i hope i am." i'm a faker.. there is no cure for this! anyway like what my colleague say "you don't have to use skin whitening product anymore!!" oh seriously FUCK OFF! and yes i told him that straight away. well at least i will still be alive and around to irritate you. it is not exactly a good start to 2010 but i am determined to make it right. although i am totally clueless how to go about doing it. right. enough about my emo-ing.

it's a mini tradition for me to recap on the things that i achieved in the past years. so yes i am going to do that for 2009 as well. (:

looking through my past entries i realised that it is really an eventful year for me. although some activities are not being recorded.. and yes i definitely GROW alot.. in terms of knowledge and skills... experiences alot and learnt alot.

and one of the best acheivement... i finally completed my studies!!! like after suffering for 3 years.. i'm finally free now. i'm so used to my busy life that i feel a sense of lost when i became less busy. now everyday was spent going out, shopping and hanging out with friends. not productive at all and i need to change that. on days when i get home earlier.. i have no idea what to do and ended up sleeping the whole night away. time to cultivate a hobby or learn a new skill or maybe even volunteer? always wanted to try volunteering at a hospice.. maybe i should start doing that too.

now at work... if you have been following my blog closely.. you should know how nervous i was for my workplace's 11th anniversary. my lovely boss put me in charge of the whole event when i'm still very new to the company.. lots of details to take note of and i'm someone that is not good with details at all. but i'm glad to have really supportive colleagues to help me through this and gave me advise and support me throughout the whole event. i'm glad that it went well and i must also thank my dearest guan yin and god for the awesome weather on that day. without the good weather.. no matter how well i plan it.. it will still not go through. my colleauge told me once you are in you .. YOU ARE IN. so i guess for 12th anniversary i need to start planning early unless something major happen to me if not im sure the arrow will still be shoooot over at my side. through this, i learnt the importance of team work and detailed planning. i cant possiblely achieved all these alone right?


as i spent more time with my residents at work.. i'm loving each and everyone of them more and more each day. their smiles and actions never fail to brighten up my boring day at work. i love how they greet me whenever they see me coming with their bright and cheery smile. it's indeed heartwarming to know that they are all starting to recognise you and accepting you. (:

i finally went on my first mission trip to myanmar (will blog about that soon). it was indeed an eye opener as i got to experience the simplicity of life... i went to give but ended up receiving even more from them. they taught me how to appreciate life as it is and be thankful for everything that i have now. through my interaction with them, i get to learnt about "the joy of giving" and they taught me how to stay happy no matter how bad the condition is. i'm definitely going for more mission trips in 2010 (hopefully if time permits). i really want to do more for them but i have my limitations too. sigh.


to all my buddies... thank you for staying on with me.. always being there for me when i need you. you know who you are :) i am looking forward to walk more years together with everyone of you. you did made a difference in my life. thank you for being part of me. :) i pray that 2010 will be a year filled with good news and happy memories for all of you. dont ever give up once you set your mind to something... be strong to fight away all obstacles to achieve what you want. and i know all these obstacles will only make you STRONGER AND BETTER. i will be here with you if you need me. and guess what? i can see you 2 years down the road wearing your graduation gown and throwing your mortar board high up into the sky!! yipee!! so no matter how hard it is now.. HANG ON!! and im sure you can do it and pick yourself up again. because you are not one who will give up easily right!! JIA YOOOU!!!

well.. it is not exactly a good start to 2010 but i believe that it will get better. there is alot of things that i have yet to do and yet to experience like falling madly deeply in love? hahaha. i pray that i will be strong enough to walk through this journey.

happy new year ziqi.
everything will be fine.
you will be okay!
be strong and smile. (:

signing off..

hello 2010

few more days and i'm going to bid goodbye to 2009; a year filled with changes, changes and more changes. i'm glad that i manage to go through all and never give up. great job ziqi! (:

and now i am really looking forward to the arrival of 2010....

because i know that it is definitely going to be an awesome year for me and my loves one filled with endless happy news and happy memories for all of us. (:

signing off
chloe lee :)

a typical conversation in a restaurant

client: Hi, can i check with you is this drink hot or cold? sweet or sour?
waiter: how would i know what it taste like when i never even taste it before?
client: OMG!!

hahahaha. really burst out laughing when my accountant shared with me what she experienced when she went to china for holiday...

the silly bird

spot the differences


and this is the original photo below


the silly bird did this.. seriously when i opened it i LOL and quickly show it to my other colleagues. we had a good time laughing at it.

according to him my boss look abit like his ex colleague..

ber..> says:
ur boss looks a bit like my ex colleague
ber..> says:
probably was him when he was young

waiting for boarding..

and after that back to singapore!!
oh man i miss my bed.
after being deprieved from computers for 8 days... YES I MISS THE INTERNET!!! ahhh.. am learning to survive without it though..

more updates when im back.. about the awesome trips and kids that i met when i'm in myanmar.. we are really such a lucky bunch. should learn to appreciate everything and be thankful for everything that we go.. but those kids got nothing but they are HAPPY!!

we got everything but we are still not contented...
*sigh*

signing off.
boarding the plane at 4:40 pm...

and i will be back to visit them next year... hopefully
because i'm already starting to misss all of them
all of them are really sweeeeet... :(

everything in life has an end.

yes, im closing another chapter of my life... :)

after 3 years of juggling both work and studies.. i am proud to announce that i finally completed my degree course. just attended my last lesson for the whole course.. boy im definitely going to miss those hectic days of mine.. weekend spent rushing for assignments, rushing off to school after work and burning midnight oil to prepare for exams.. and always asking the others before class "eh what to eat later arh?" going to miss our dinner gossips!!

(the place where we met, have fun and work hard together.. the place where all of us are working towards to acheive the same goal... the place where future counsellors/ social workers are born...)

i still remember how i felt on the day when i signed up for this course. very very HAPPY. why? i finally found the way to fulfill my goal in life. and because i also know that i am one step closer to my dream...

i'm a ITE graduate and all my buddies are either in poly or jc. but im the only poor soul that got into ITE. so imagine my sadnesss.. :P got to admit i feel kind of lost when i decided to join ITE. and it became worst after i graduate from ITE and nobody wants to employ me.. rejections by employers because of my age, qualification and lack of experiences... that's the society that we are living in. but i'm glad that someone decided to try me out and happy to say that my luck change from there onwards! hehe. all thanks to her! :)

and imagine my happiness when dad told me about this school that specialise in counselling.. signed up for it immediately and since then i'm hooked to it! (phew still cannot believe that i got my degree already..) and now 3 years everything has ended!! fast??

but if you asked me now.. did i regret joining ITE and waste my time there? my answer is no. because i went through the hard way in my studies..and it did changed me and i became more determined to get my degree. i try not to regret any decisions made as i believe that everything in life happened for a reason and there is a meaning and lesson attached to it. i lost some but i gain even more. i gain lots of experiences, learnt a great deal of things and met lots of wonderful people that help me along on my journey. all these are priceless. :)

i got to know this crazy funny twin sister! jeannie baby! someone who is able to crap with me and stand all my nonsenses. and our friendship grow stronger and stronger in the last 2 years.. what am i going to do without her in school? helping me with my assignments and always being so patient and nice.. entertaining me with all her jokes! ahh! im definitely going to miss hanging out with her...


i'm glad that for our last semester there isn't any exams and just purely based on assignments (as usual essays and reports). thus it's not too taxing.. and finally for once.. i managed to complete my assignments earlier! didnt really rush too hard for it. like wtf. i only managed to change until the last semester!! fine fine fine.. but at least i did change right? and it feels damn good when you didnt have to stay up all night trying to crap 2500 words within one day! hah! im definitely going to miss those crazy days..


*somehow it still feels like a dream to me that i'm a graduate now. i fcuking got my degree already!! yes i'm not dreaming... well done and great job ziqi!! you rocks! :)*

alright time to think of what i want to do for the next chapter of my life...

my first t shirt design

overdue reflection...

it was hard to kick start this planning as we haven't confirm the theme that we want to go for. beside that we have difficulties getting people to help us to come up with the design. approach a few nice people but what they came up with were not really suitable. after going one big round of asking friends, volunteers to help us design the logo for our 11th anniversary, we ended up using the design which i drew.... anyway thanks to the two design below i came up with something similar.. although not fantastic but at least boss agreed to it..




initially i refused to draw it myself as i the feeling when you draw until damn serious or what and they reject your design.. okay who likes rejection?? i hate it when you spend a lot time and effort to think and come up with something but in the end it got rejected.. ok lah i know all these are part of life experiences and i need to learn from it.. but im a lazy person unless im really in the mood to draw or do something.. i will do it nicely for you if not.. HAHAH. i need to change my character...

but anyhow.. in the end until the very last resort.. out of no choice.. i decided to draw it myself.. and thank god BOSS AGREED TO USE MY DESIGN!!! although he did rejected my first 2 proposal...

i got this inspiration from melvyn's design. anyway the 3 person are holding and supporting one and other. can you tell from the picture? (and boss find this too childish!)

try the design out with a heart shape... (still childish...)

replace the 3 figures with a hand holding together (so i modify abit and came up with this.. as we walk hand in hand together.... while drawing this, it reminds me of those days when im struggling to complete my portfolio.)

and TADAH!! got it printed out on the T SHIRTS!!! (:

so there goes my first ever t shirt that i designed! glad that i manage to churn something out at the last min... and once again it's proven that my brain only works at the very last min! HAHAHA

after 3 years of suffering...

i'm graduating this thursday!!!
happy happy HAPPY!!
and now finishing up my last assignment and i will be FREEEE woooo
i cant wait..
going to take a break for a while
and then think about what i want to do in 2010.

i'm thinking if i should continue my studies and get my master? feel like BUT im tired of the process of rushing for deadlines and rushing to school after work. tsk tsk tsk..

ahhh. worry about that later! finish up my last assignment first! one more question to goo!!

tsk tsk tsk.. parents..

i had one group of primary 4 kids coming over to do volunteer work earlier.. as they are really young and it's their first time volunteering, the kids were unsure what to do. and some of them shared that they are actually afraid of my client. okay this is normal.. anyway i am really proud of them. they did a great job interacting and having fun with my clients. after the session, while having a debriefing session, all of them wants to come back and volunteer again. so i told them to seek their parents consent first and ask them to bring them here the next time.

and one student commented that

"miss chloe, my mother will not bring me here one. because she thinks that they are crazy people."

alright well done mother! for sharing the WRONG information to a child. call yourself a mother.. tsk tsk tsk.. they are mentally SLOWER and not mentally CRAZY! it's a very BIG differences okay. even though they are special but they are also humans like us with feelings and they do need people to love and care for them just like everyone of us.

how are we going to include them in our society if people are not being educate correctly about them? and it really pissed me off to see them spreading the wrong information about them. a lot of time when people heard that we are a intellectually disabled home, they started to panic and withdraw. i totally understand how it feels.. it's normal to feel afraid.. i'm afraid too when i first join them. but you should GIVE THEM A CHANCE to work with you first instead of rejecting them directly just because they are intellectually disabled. if you are not willing to give it a try and work with them then how are you going to accept them and understand them better?

we really want to include them in our community and let them live together with us. it is neither their fault nor their parents' fault that they are born differently from us. so why should we ostracize them?

everyone deserves a second chance. and yes they too deserve a chance to live together with us in the community. so please please please.. don't label them.. criticise them.

instead accept, respect and include them.

okay just feel like ranting.......

say hello to BOBBY!

he is bobby. so what is so special about him? well basically he is the FIRST dog that i ever kiss! haha and beside that.. he is the first dog that i'm not afraid of. first that i dare to carry.. okay yes. i'm scare of dogs! blame it on a bad experience when i was just a little girl. i fucking got chase by a dog.. well maybe it's because we were really mischievous at that time so the owner decided to take revenge on us by letting his dog chase us and the innocent me was too young to know how to react! so.. you know.. haha.. those days... and dogs are always so aggressive when i see them. especially pauline's dog. always hump my leg super horny!

but bobby is really different. he is a sweeet little darling. he dont bark that often, he dont bite, and he is really cute. always wanting you to touch him.. sweeet right! haha

and good news is im learning how to love them now and less afraid of them.. im still trying yes.. give me sometime and i will succeed! YES!

ahh!

shit. think i kanna food poisoning or what. been visiting the toilet and LS-ing for the past 2 days. quite a few times i woke up in the middle of the night because of tummy ache and got to rush to the toilet. damn. very disruptive you know. basically i shit out everything that i ate. anyway if you look it from another side.. it's a good detox session isn't it? maybe after this i might get to lose 100000000kg? i hope so.. hahahah.

so wtf did i ate?

okay admit im here to show off! HAHAHA

was very very shock when i checked my result. i got 51/60!! hahahaha! pleasant surprise for last semester! i think it's the first time that i score that high.. im the kind that pass is good enough for me. so imagine my shockNESS when i checked my result that day! wooooooo

thank you!!! really make my day lah!

yes chris fong rocks lah!

又下雨了。
我的心也跟着它一起下。

HAHAHAHA

me: im going to junction 8 anybody want anything??
account: YES!!!
me: but i'm not going to buy for you.. NO NO!! LA LA LA LA!!

im not evil. really not evil but very nice...

oldies but goodies.

this is funny!

weesiang is full of crap!

siang <3>
suddenli i realise tat i ite tat time veri handsome
siang <3>
lol
ziqiChloé - oh yeah! halloweeeen!! . says:
hahhahhaa
ziqiChloé - oh yeah! halloweeeen!! . says:
INDEED I HAVE TO AGREE
ziqiChloé - oh yeah! halloweeeen!! . says:
what is happening to you now!!

yeah.. he is a hottie during our ITE days. but now?? hahahah.

hey the 500th post!!!

every time during our management meeting, boss will share some very "interesting" and super chim stories.. so on our last management meeting he shared, "Man proposes and God disposes." well basically it means... we plan and plan and plan but it will not be made possible if God did not give us good weather on that day. so god is the one that make this possible.. because all our programs are outdoor and i DID NOT prepare for any wet weather plan! so whenever people ask me what is the wet weather plan.. i will tell them " it will be a bright and sunny day on that day so no wet weather plan is necessary!!" muahahaha.. yes positive thinking! so thank you for giving us an awesome weather that day. thank you for making it possible for us!!

i pray and pray and pray really hard for a good weather on that day. and you made it possible for me!!! wooooo!! anyway im glad that it's finally over. i think it went well? like no major hiccup. hmm..

everything went according to what i planned although someone gave me a mini surprise in the morning.. but it's okay.. i will learn from it... now i know. and i will make sure that i wont make the same mistake again... (:

my two wonderful, awesome and fantastic emcee (melvyn and golden!) for the day. must really thank melvyn for agreeing to help me. everyone was saying that he did a fantastic job, he is really good blah blah.. after all he only had one practice with golden. he help to brighten up the whole atmosphere and help to lead golden along.. but got to admit he is really GOOD! if not why will i want to approach him right?? muahahaha. and i also feel super bad for constantly bugging him to help with the script. because of that im becoming more and more nagggy!! NOOOOOO!!

i still remember the first time when i met him it was during one YMCA event with BHID, and he was the emcee for that day too. was attracted to his nice voice because i heard him sang that day too. yeah he got a nice voice.. THANK YOU MELVYN YEE!!


performance by our awesome choir! still remember i teared when i saw them perform for the very first time. their never give up attitude. they continue to sing and despite their disabilities.. well that really touch me.. although it's not fantastic but it's enough to touch my heart. (: well done people!

the great BHID's work out!! thank you inday for coming up with this!

with victor.. one of the best part of my job.. getting to know wonderful people like them. :) thank you for sharing with me your "life experiences" haha.

with one group of my awesome volunteers!! they totally rocks the event lah!

and now it's over. feel a little bit empty though! hahaha.
and i think it's time to brainstorm for next year party... NOT!! (:

it's this coming saturday

after almost 2 months of intensive planning...
it's this saturday!!
OMG!
suddenly im feeling really nervous about it..
like FUCKING NERVOUS!!!! damn
initially i was still feeling okay... like normal..
but now i cant keep my cool!!!
am suddenly really worried about missing out this and that
details details and FUCKING MORE DETAILS!!!!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

am worried that my planning for volunteers might screwed up
am worried that the weather might play me out
am worried that the games might screwed up
am worried that the turn out might not be that good
am worried that it might not be interesting enough to keep them occupied
am worried that my residents might misbehave
basically IM FUCKING WORRIED ABOUT EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ahh! bless me
I DONT WANT TO SCREW UP THIS IMPORTANT EVENT!!
AFTER ALL THIS IS THE FIRST FUCKING EVENT THAT I ORGANIZE..
AND EVERYONE WILL BE LOOKING AT HOW I HANDLE IT...

sometimes i am seriously tired of leading. will rather be the follower instead. ..

sweet gesture from a volunteer

received this from my boy who managed to successfully completed his session with us.
i'm glad that it manage to impact him a little? at least now know i know what i'm doing is right.. what i believe in is right.. and i should continue to stick to it. (:

9 days trip

it's confirmed! will be away from 27th nov to 5th dec! am going on a mission trip to myanmar!!

i always wanted to go on a mission trip. finally got a chance to go.. will be going to myanmar end of nov. i am really looking forward to this after all it is going to be my first mission trip! (i hope it's not the last as well! haha) hopefully i can tahan lah! time to grow up and be independent!! i am looking forward to gain new experiences and more insights to life from this trip.. yay..

exactly 1 year

** i'm going to make this a very long post.. after all it's a year reflection of things that happened at work.. so try to bear with me hahaha **

time flies.. yes.. it's exactly 1 year since i joined this big family.. still remember how sad i was when it's time to leave those wonderful people at faplccc.net.. anyway i'm glad that one year later.. we are still in contact with each other (not all but those that i am really close with..) .. after all they tolerated all my nonsenses, craps, craziness.. taught me things.. and yes i feel really comfortable when i am with them.. i can be 100% myself. glad that they didn't run away from me! haha (:

i still remember my first assignment when i joined them.. to confirm the RSVP lists for their 10th anniversary. and i seriously had a HARD time doing it. why? because it was actually my first time calling up strangers. and yes i nearly freak out while talking to them.. don't ask me why but somehow because of that i really dragggg going to work. after that, i learned that i really need to build up my confident.. like the tag line "fake it till you make it!" most importantly to get your information right before calling them.. and now one year later.. i am actually IN CHARGE of planning for their 11th anniversary.. well if given a choice, i will rather go back to calling RSVP list. it's a heavier burden this time round. and yet again... something that i am completely unfamiliar with... well. there is always a first time for everything right? just pray that i wont screwed up this event...

这一年过的好快！不知道是不是因为很忙时间就过得比较快？

well.. how much did i change for the past one year? i don't know. but somehow my colleagues are saying that i'm different.. i have changed.. what can i say? 人是会变的，总有一天要长大的。i came in as a loud joker.. always crappy and forever happy.. always smily.. but these days they are saying that i seems to be a little stress and sometimes serious with a tense up face.. haha. that's because more responsibilities are thrown to me everyday... it's hard to remain sane... i'm still trying to find a way to enjoy everything.. but one thing for sure the craziness and crappy-ness is still in me..

i enjoyed my journey with them for the past 1 year.. given a chance to do things that i never know im capable of.. meeting lots of interesting people.. managing those volunteers.. overcome my phobia of giving briefing.. although i still need to work hard on that but it's getting better. i hope! haha. and most importantly.. getting a chance to work with all my wonderful and lovely residents/ clients. yes.. im loving them more each day..

everyday when i stepped into the building, they will greet me with their bright and cheery smile.. the cute resident who open the gate for me will always show me a victory .V. sign whenever he sees me walking into the gate.. (yeah.. that's my trademark pose.. ahah) calling out to me "JIE JIE MORNING!!", 'shouting' my name when they see me walking past... and purposely calling me AUNTIE when i tell them not to.. haha some of them are really mischievous. it really warms my heart to see them greeting me by my name or calling me mei (sounds younger!) because it means that they are starting to recognise me.. starting to remember my face.. (:

during the past 1 year, i get to witness different type of amazing stories between my clients and their families.. and from them i learned how to appreciate my family more, learn how to love the people around me and be contented with the things i have now.. compared to them, we are really fortunate. they are always happy and cheery regardless of the condition that they are in..

to appreciate my family more...
i grow up in a family where things are always being done for me.. clothes being washed and ironed by my mum.. and yes my mum even pack my room for me! and it became a habit that i will just leave things there because i know mum will clean up for me! (yeah my confession) but through them, i learn to appreciate and understand everything that my mum is doing for us. making sure that our home is always clean, tidy and safe. so that when we are home, we can rest and do not have to worry about those household chores. i am trying to change myself to be less reliant on my parents.. it's time for me to take care of them and not them taking care of us. it's time for me to be worried about them and not them constantly worried about us. it's time for my brother and i to take charge of the family.

i appreciate the time spent together with my family. it's really sad that a lot of them yearn to spend time with their love one but they are unable to.. but i have the chance to do it so i must learn to cherish every moment spent with them and not regret in the future. although sometimes we are always busy with work school entertainment that we often ended up neglecting them.. so we should all make it a point to set aside some time to spend together as a family.. even if you they are far away from you, we should at least give them a call and let them know that you are safe. (:

to learn how to love the people around me...
even though they are mentally slower.. some of them are capable of loving.. showing care and concern for the other party. yes and i witnessed all that.. how a son show his love for his dad.. how a daughter yearn for his dad... how they show their siblings love, when someone bullied one of them, the rest will united to protect the other party. (this taught me to love my brother more.. and fight less with him.) through the interaction with them, they gave me a chance to learn how to take care of people, how to interact with people, (talking to them.. making them laugh as it will actually brighten up their dull day. everyday i will think of new ways to entertain them.. new ways to engage the residents.. because it's really heartwarming to see them smile..) we are blessed with abilities that they lack.. it's time for us to use our abilities to serve the less fortunate.. sometimes we need to to move out of our little world and give back to the society..

they thought me to be patient as well.. as talking and taking care of them is not easy. sometimes to get your point across to them you need to repeat, repeat and repeat.. thus it is very important for us to be really patient when we are dealing with them. i believe that even though they are mentally slower.. they can learn. we just need to be very patient towards them.. teach them slowly and one day they will remember and learn..

because of them.. i learn to be more tolerance towards the disabled.. now i am able to empathize better with them.. i guess the more you see the more you think.. ?!?

yes i definitely grow a lot during the past one year.. not only in size but in knowledge as well! haha. from a totally ignorant brat to what i am today.. they believe in me and gave me lots of opportunity to prove myself. i did alot of things that i dont even know that i am actually capable of doing that.. sometimes i am even amazed with myself for some of the things that i done.. haha.. like how i manage to 'fake' my way through so many presentations.. meetings... haha!!

ahh. anyway enough of my random thoughts.. to conclude..

they are just like my second family... (:

and now i look forward to another exciting year with them...

regards,
ziqi

let's forgive

when deep injury is done to us,
we never recover until we forgive..
forgiveness does not change the past,
but it does enlarge the future.
- mary karen read

my residents are really CUTE!!!

me: do you want to eat sweet?
resident: i want!! (and kept nodding his head)

** so i pass the sweet to him.. **

resident: shh.. don't tell jie jie (pointing to my colleague who came in with him) you give me sweet. it's our secret. shh..

muahahahaha!! they are seriously damn cute right!! oh man. they even know how to sort of "bribe" you in doing things for them, some even know how to bully people, etc.

oh ya... i realized that somehow unknowing-ly you will end up acting and behaving like them once you spend all your time with them. i received A LOT of comments saying that i should move in with them soon... i am behaving more and more like them.. are you okay? i should start arranging for my appointment at IMH.. etc

But sometimes in order to communicate with them.. you really need to go down to their level to communicate with them; only then are you able to click with them, able to get some response from them. it's true. if you come and act al mighty in front of them they will be thinking "who is this freak standing in front of me? what is she trying to do?" if you manage to go into the same channel with them.. at least you can get some responses from them... even those that don't talk at all at least when they get use to you and see you more often, they will smile to you.. really...

the most satisfying moment is.. when you manage to get a non responsive resident to smile at you when he/ she sees you coming.. that is the time when you know that they are starting to recognise you.. acknowledging your presence and the satisfaction you get is PRICELESS.. really..

you will never know that all this little things that you do to them.. (walking over to shake their hand, smile at them.. acknowledge them...) actually meant a lot to them.

(:

postcard from nederlands (:

this morning i received a post card all the way from nederlands. one ex volunteer mailed it over.. he is one volunteer that left a deep impression on me. very nice decent guy.. agreed to practically anything that i ask for! (not that i always ask things from him but he really help me alot in some programs..). show great empathy for my clients... showering them with care and love. treat them really well... respect them.. yeah.. that's how good is he... and he sort of set the standard for all my future volunteers! a very high standard though.. haha

it's really sweet of him to remember my clients even though he is far away.. (:

it's exactly one more to our 11th anniversary...

and this is the first time that i am actually planning for an event. a real event that involve lots of details. i'm overwhelmed by all these planning that i need to do, having to liaise with volunteers, sponsors, contractors... starting to turn cranky when people keep coming to me to bombard me with all the issuess and endless questions!!

but i'm glad that everyone is really supportive. giving me advice... trying their best to help me. i thank god for giving me wonderful colleagues! (:

i'm afraid that i will screw up the whole event. worried that i might miss out this and that. argh. beside that my other projects are ongoing as well. and worst first assignment is due soon. i'm sinking... sinking... HELP!! can anyone pull me out?

that's life

was suppose to go for home visit to one of my client yesterday. while confirming the visit again, we received the news that he passed away at night.

that's the first death that i encountered after working with them for almost one year. and it's not exactly a very nice experience though. and im sure im going to encounter more of it.. sigh...

title?

Somehow I believe that they can feel it and they understand what is happening even though they are not responsive at all. I believe that they know what is going on around them although they need times to take in all the information. They have feelings like us too…

When my colleague told me what happened that night I tear. Without fail, my client’s dad will visit him every day. Often I told him not to do that as he needs his rest as well especially after a long day at work. Beside that he needs to look after his wife too. So last night when my client saw his dad, he broke into tears and hugged his dad tight. And both of them ended up crying together. what a scene right. Not something you can see in a place like us. All of us were kind of shock when we heard of it. it’s really heartbreaking to see it. I know them personally and I can feel their love for each other even though my client is unable to express himself. Or rather, he is not aware of how to express himself. He is very attached to his dad. After all it’s his dad who brought him up, care for him and showers him with all his fatherly love.

I pray that his dad is healthy and strong, able to continue caring for his wife and son. I pray that his wife recover soon and I pray that my client will behave and not create any trouble for anyone. I pray that they will have more time to spend together as a family. (:

kids....

was at a primary schol for our weekly session on hydroponic lesson with the primary 4 kids and our residents.. and yes.. they are FULL OF ENERGY and really very NOISY. yakking non stop and asking endless questions!

so i decided to play a game with them... (got this idea from UP. if you remember how the old man tried to make that boy shut up! hahah. yes i know i'm evil...)

me: ok children, i'm going to play a game with you. did you guys watch UP?
children: YES!!!!! (screaming at the top of their voices)
me: ok! let's play who can keep quiet for the longest time! the winner will get a prize!!

anyway it only last for like 5 secs? and they started bombarding me with all sort of questions again!! screaming and shouting, singing at the top of their voices... etc.

children: but miss chloé my mouth can't stop moving!!

and they go on and on....

mermaid.

went with my colleagues to sentosa for our staff gathering few weeks ago. we went to underwater world. ages since i last went there. it's interesting how everything seems so fun when you are young and how different it feels when you grow up. hmm..

anyway, while we were at underwater world, my colleague told us that he saw the "mermaid" when he came last week. i got really excited as i was thinking to myself "wah mermaid really exist!! i want to see!!" wondering how it look like and how they manage to bring the whole mermaid in. isit pretty like little mermaid?

so when my colleague pointed to me the "mermaid" i quickly rush over to see.. and guess the mermaid i had in mind is different from the mermaid that he is telling me about!!

ok.. that's the mermaid that i saw at underwater world. it's "gracie the dugong" apparently it is also known as the "mermaid" to some. (is that a BIG FISH?)


and this is the mermaid that i am thinking about!!! gosh felt so silly after that.



so conclusion.. mermaid do not exist. wakeup.

i just made a very crazy decision

im going to KL this weekend with mao sheng. leaving on Saturday evening!
i love impromptu trip like this. he is going over to look at some diving equipment and i decided to tag along!

i am so going to look forward to this. but definitely going to control my spending as i'm broke. only going to spend on food. no more buying of clothes. enough is enough. anyway i foresee that the style is not what i will normally go for. maybe i will just get some shoes? haha.

but before that.. let's hope that this week will past fast!
oh man. it's Monday again..

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p.s- yes. i finally post up this entry. sorry babe for taking ages to post it up. :)

organ donor card

finally receive my organ donor card yesterday after sending it weeks ago. still remember when i first told my parents about my decision, their first reaction "SIAO (crazy) ARH?" and they tried to talk me out from doing it. one example of how my mum tried to talk me out of it.. as we chinese believe in reincarnation my mum told me that if you give others your organs after you die, in your next life you will be born without that organ that you donated!! yeah that's my mum for you... hahaha

but still being the very stubborn me.. i went ahead with it. :)

if they are people who need it take it. since it will become useless to me once i die. right? there are people dying while waiting for a suitable donor. if we can donate our organ to them and give them a chance to re live their life.. why not?

random chat with one resident

this morning, i walked over to my favourite resident when he is playing lego.

me: hello. what are you doing?
resident: i'm building a home
me: wow. who are you building it for?
resident: build for you lo. then we can stay together!

awww. sweeet!!
im seriously in love with everyone of them!! :)

gone for 3 days and back

everything is seriously very cheap over there.
bought 15 dresses, 4 shoes, 4 bags in just 1 day. crazy right?
and yes. i overspent (again). but anyway it was still within what i budget.

anyway.. overall damage done

almost 30 dresses, 5 shoes, 4 bags and lots of doraemon! hahaha

awesome trip, but hate it when mum nag at me NON STOP complaining that i bought too much crap back and the amount of clothes that she is going to wash. sheesh.

ahhh

good news, finally we managed to confirm the venue after sourcing around and procastinating for a long time. this year we will be holding our 11th anniversary at macRitchie reservoir park. at least now we got the venue confirmed, it should be easier to plan the rest of the details right? hmm..

anyway. i was actually quite excited about it. after all this is the first time i am going to plan an event and after going through the event management course... I AM EVEN MORE EXCITED TO START (ya right..) but boss called me to his room earlier and he bombarded us with alot of things!! JUST RIGHT BEFORE I'M GOING FOR MY HOLIDAY.. and right now i feel like my brain is going to explode. trying to digest all those information that he gave earlier.. and he told me to THINK IT OVER MY TRIP and HOPE I WILL ENJOY MY HOLIDAY... nice try.

crap. im suddenly really nervous about the whole thing. feel like running away. realise that it's full of details details and more details!!! AHHHH!!! HELP ME!!

and finally im leaving for BKK tomorrow!!! woooo been waiting for this trip since zillion years ago.. and it's finally TOMORROW!! as usual not in the mood to work right now. spend my whole morning at IMH and just got back to office. damn tired. and boss just love to bombard me with all sort of things always at the wrong timing. and my RI boys are coming later. they are definitely going to drain away all my remaining energy.. headache! argh!

anyhow bangkok here i come! (:

arena

i concluded that it's good to bring your camera with you whenever you go clubbing. because it held memories of whatever shit that happened after you are high and crazy. yes.. cannot really remember much about what happened on Saturday night but after looking through those photos that we took, manage to roughly remember bit and pieces of it.

to conclude.. crazy people doing crazy things. yes..

anyway it's really fun although i really really detest hangover. sigh.. how to stop that from happening???

anyway photos.... (:

obviously all these photos were taken when we are still sober... haha. all looking pretty normal




and then we start to go crazy... and ended up doing crazy shit that we dont even remember.
like how i ended up taking this pic with this stranger..



anyway.. happy birthday to the birthday boy Terrence! :)

ahhh.

drink water, puke water.
drink tea, puke tea.
i hate hangover.

something for you to know...

tried this personality quiz and i think it's quite accurate for me....

Your view on yourself:
You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
The right job for you:You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

that bugger...

oLiVeR says:
yeah..u seem to get a little smarter since u started working there...almost like a normal person now
ziqi- hate to say goodbye.. but it's inevitable. says:
OLIVER!!!!
ziqi- hate to say goodbye.. but it's inevitable. says:
I WILL TRY TO TAKE THAT AS A COMPLIMENT!!

(:

received another "energy boost" from my volunteer today. he told me

"i think you made my experience wonderful"

yeah. i need all these "energy boost" to affirm what i am doing is right.

power up again and now continue to FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!!! :)

sigh

i really hate to say goodbye.. but it's inevitable.
that's life. people come and go. something that i need to remember and learn how to deal with it
because life goes on :)

energy boost

received a message earlier and it brighten up my day :D

"it's people like you that make people like me realise life's worth living for. have a nice day."

i'm feel honored when i read it. sometimes it's all this little affirmation from people that keeps me going.

hahaha

a conversation between one of my student (btw primary 4) and me

student - "Miss chloe, (point up to the sky) look what's that?"
me - "oooh, a plane just flew past and caused the cloud to form a straight line."
student - "no miss chloe, the bird FANG PI (fart) HAHAHAHHA"

*faint. yeah power imagination. that's the sort of conversation i always have with them! hahaha. they are really adorable. :)

conversation 2

student - miss chloe, im taller than you!
me - oh yes.
student - why are you so short?

oh crap. time to grow taller. wonder what they eat.

wake up!

I NEED TO START MOVING!! argh.. sept is coming and my workplace's anniversary is in october (24th October, saturday) and NO CONCRETE PLAN IS OUT YET!!

oh ya.. I FREAKING NEED TO SCHOOL ON 24TH OCTOBER!! 9 AM TO 5 PM. CRAAAAPPP! can imagine myself running around like an idiot trying to make my way to school right after the anniversary when i will obviously be DEAD TIRED...

OH SHUCKS!!

HELP ME!!

*time to dig out my event management's tb and start working on it like now... NOW!!

goodbye guru

just had a great gathering at oli's crib. catching up with those people whom i miss terribly.. yes. still loving his house. simple, nice and elegant.. the last time i went to his place, i told him "Oli, the nicest things in your house is your rubbish chute!!" muahaha. and this time round he asked me again "so is my rubbish chute still the nicest thing in my house?" and i told him "No, oli! it's the mirror in your toilet now!!" hahhaa.

so as usual i prepared the super delicious chicken ARM PITS!! woooOTz with Oli's fly lices! hahaha. nice combie yeah.


anyway the gathering was meant to be a simple farewell for guru. he is leaving... going back to KL. :( aww. definitely going to miss this great guy.. will never forget what he told me when i left my old job for my current job. he is the only one who is really supportive and gave me encouraging comments. YOU ARE THE MAN GURU!!

quote from guru to me again... "..it doesnt matter how much you are getting right now, what matters is all the experiences you're getting, things you're going to learn..."

WELL WILL SEE YOU IN KL DUDE!! you better bring us around and provide everything for us LIKE WHAT YOU PROMISED US YEAH! all the best to you. :D

it's coming! yay

must start saving for my grad trip in Jan 2010!!!
omg i cant wait!
ITS COMING!! been waiting for this day since i started my degree. wooooo
I SERIOUSLY CANT WAIT TO GRADUATE.
lalalala

ya right.

oLiVeR says:
guess working with the less fortunate made u smarter

crap. i burst out laughing when i read what he wrote! im smart all along. just that im SMARTER now. :)

debrief

im thinking of how to do a good debrief that will impact, inspire, motivate my volunteers... something like that??
like any INSPIRING things to share with them??
im always sharing about my personal experiences and little stories that happened... any other things that i can talkkk aboooout without sounding silly?
ahhh. i need to work hard on my debriefing session with them. really weak in that area..
HELP IDEAS PLEASE!!!

a proper closure

one of my client's father passed away recently. her relatives and father's friends were debating among themselves if they should do a closure for my client; to bring her to see her father for one last time. a couple of issues brought up and discussed but somehow eventually they decided that it is best not to do a closure for her and also she wont understand what is going on as well. thus right till today, at this very second my client is still unaware that her beloved father passed away. the one who love her most is no longer here with her and gone forever. i dont know the father personally and didnt get a chance to know him. pretty sad because i heard from my colleague that he is really a nice man.. like a mentor to people and always very affectionate.

i'm not sure if this is the right thing to do. making a decision based on your own opinion for someone. i know you guys struggled for a long time.. but because of that you deprive her of her only chance to see her dad for the last time. same for her dad as well... he didnt get to see her for a looong time. sigh.. i understand that she might not understand what is going on but i always believe that somehow they will feel it and they can feel it. right? give them a chance to mourn too..

well imagine.. the one who love you the most is no longer around and you are not even aware of it. maybe pining for him everyday and not knowing that he will not be here anymore... how will you feel? maybe to me i feel that it is important to do a proper closure especially when you are dealing with death. only than are you able to let go slowly..

finally something good

hangover....... ROCKS

for you, a thousand times over.

i read this book "the kite runner" a few months ago and finally get to watch the movie version today. im glad that the movie turned out to be good although reading the book itself is way better. haha. its pretty much similar to the book although some really nice part are missing. but glad that they didnt do any major changes to it.

a nice book that talk about the extraordinary friendship between the two boys amir and hassan. amir the master and hassan the servant.. amir who is always on the receiving end and hassan who is always giving and willing to go the extra mile for his friend without asking anything in return. hassan who is always there to protect amir. but one betrayal from amir broke up the friendship between them. how fragile can it be? somehow after reading this book, it taught me to appreciate all my friendships and everything i had.

i admire hassan's spirit. the way he treasure his friendship with amir. not everyone is capable of doing that. (:

so sleeeepy

presentation later. wish me luck.
neeeeed to do a good one. because that damn bloody lecturer is forever aiming me.
#$%^&

let's pray that they don't shooot me with nonsensical questions!!!

and after this final presentation.. IT'S HOLIDAY FOR ME!!! WOOOOOOOO

p.s- i cant wait for my upcoming trip!! hehehe

The Time Traveler's Wife

and this movie as well..



when i was reading time traveler's wife, i kept imaging that people will just disappear in front of me. just like how the book described it. hahaha. think too much.

i read both books and love both books. it better be as nice as the book please...

cant wait for it to be out. anyone want to watch?? hoho

My sister's keeper

awesome book. am definitely going to watch this movie.

the process....

just had my first session with the boys from RINPCC. it's the sec 2s now. aww. somehow i miss the sec 3s.. it was the first session with them and frankly speaking i had a great time with them. i was quite apprehensive at first.. (because was worried that they are not able to get into the "mood".. its really quite sucky when you got those really "stern" volunteers.. like they dont laugh they dont talk.. they just stare at you.. get what i mean? haha) but anyway.. im glad that it turned out ok i suppose?

im amazed with some of the young volunteers' ability.. like they are really flexible with changes. was suppose to play some games on the first session. but they were late and after my briefing it was already dinner time. so arranged for them to help out in the canteen instead. it was the first session and some of them readily agreed to it when i asked them to help to feed the residents. although they were some uncertainty initially, i'm glad that some of them manage to overcome the barrier. and they even offered their services. well done boys. am glad that somehow slowly... they took the first step in befriending the residents. although some are still afraid but at least THEY TRIED that's really important. (:

and manfred shared.. it doesn't matter if the outcome is not what you planned for.. most importantly you enjoyed THE PROCESS.

and yes I AGREEE!! often we are too caught up with our desired outcome that we tend to neglect the process. it is equally important for us to enjoy the process of achieving the outcome.. it doesn't matter even if you failed to achieve your outcome, because what matter is YOU ENJOYED AND EXPERIENCED THE PROCESS...

(:

and im looking forward to more sessions with them...

a random conversation with boss.

Me: Boss i need to take time off on Monday morning to prepare for my exam. i will be studying the whole night away and too stone to come in the morning.
Boss: why are you always stone during exam times?
Me: because i used up all my energy, brain juices at work. HAHAHA

POWER RIGHT!! hahaha
my boss rocks lah!

you took my heart away.

PAULINE LIM RU FEN

i still remember the long chat we had outside raffles place mrt... helping her to find her directions in life, bombarding her with ideas on what she can do, suggesting to her different ideas, etc. after being jobless for 1 year. yes 1 year!! really long huh! i received a call from her that day and she exclaimed excitedly to me that "I GOT A NEW JOB!!" wooo!!

well congrats pauline. im really happy for you when i received your call that day. yes! i'm glad that you are starting to take charge of your life again! and im sure you can do it even better this time round! congrats to your new journey and let's celebrate when you get your first pay check!! hahaha

p.s.- i love those impromptu meet up with you. although we dont meet up that often but i'm glad we still manage to keep in contact after all these years. (:

with love.

nice advert

i love those advert with a beautiful meaning behind it...





and two done locally and tastefully by late yasmin ahmad

LOL

since yesterday, everyone is forwarding this sms

"Today is the day when Singtel, M1 and Starhub celebrate the mark of Singaporeans sending a total of 60 billions local messages. Forward this msg to 10 person and you will have $49 of outgoing calls free! After so, you may check your phone bill to verify. :)"

and when one of my colleague forward it to our ex SW, he replied her with the following message...

"Today's the day SBSTransit, Comfort and SMRT celebrate Carmen Ng travelling 1 zillion km on public transport. Forward this msg to 1000 people in Bishan Home you will have $9999 of EZLINK credit!!! you may check your EZLINK to verify. :)"

that's me.

often i lack the courage to fight for things that i want and ended up with nothing at all.
yearning for it but not planning to do anything about it.
i guess like everyone, i'm afraid of facing the consequences, rejection and failure.
damn loser. i know.

the big combo

visited the science centre today and we came across this really amazing mirror. apparently it will show you what your future child will look like. so being the very curious us, we tried it

the first set

Angeline and ME!! (okay lah not so bad, can tell my head IS REALLY BIG! :(

this is jocelyn and huiru (nice! not much diff though)

Jocelyn and angeline (also nice and normal!)

and now finally the weirdest of all! JOCELYN AND ME!! HAHAH CANNOT STOP LAUGHING AT THIS! DAMN DISGUSTING!! SAUSAGE MOUTH!! LOL
this is how our baby will look like if we ever have one! LOL

p.s- i really look forward to hang out with them although it's only an once a month outing. :( but anyhow WE HAD FUN every single time we hang out. and i really love those impromptu meet up with them as well.. more please.. laughing like crazy and doing crazy stunts with ZHU YANTING!! i just love disturbing and scaring you babe. because i simple love your reaction. it's priceless. :)

hmm. interesting.

OMG, you know what. I was at ntuc just now, then I was queuing up to pay. then this ahma in front of me turn around and randomly ask me to call her ahma. so i call lor. then later she turned again, and call me sun zi then hug me. then when it was her turn to pay, she ran away and took the things she 'bought'. then the cashier charge her things to my bill. wth right. then i stand there not knowing what to do so i ran after her and i saw her entering the life. so i chiong there then before the lift close, i managed to pull her leg! like how i'm pulling your leg now. hahaha

one friend sent me this sms and i was thinking "wah how come so drama and very happening leh! FUN" but it turn out to be a prank.. really zzz

lame brushy.

Joshes says:
can i irritate u
ziqi- says:
why not?

wootZ

got a new PC at work = awesome-NESS!

my boss love to sabo me

yeah.. we were in the middle of a meeting at care corner FSC then suddenly
"you can ask my colleague over here to share more with you!"

my first reaction.. "wtf?" totally not prepared to give a speech and no idea what they are talking about. (okay fine i admit i was not paying attention!) so i end up talking nonsenses... and i can feel myself trembling leh! loser :(

another example.. sometimes when we need to give briefing or plan any event... my boss will "ask her (point to me) she is good in giving presentation and she is always giving briefing!) another arrow... "ask her (point to me again) she is very creative. so she can plan the event this year." double wtf.

was super happy when my boss appointed my SW to plan for this year National Day because he love to assign me with task like this. i'm thinking wah finally i dont have to go through the trouble of planning for an event and coming up with IDEAS on what to do.. finally can relax... BUT!! being the very forgetful man, he asked me into his room this morning to remind ME ABOUT PLANNING FOR THIS YEAR EVENT!! earlier at another meeting with another guy again he said "she is our in charge for this year program." he totally forgotten about SW involvement in this!! :(

oh well.. thank you for the arrow boss. (:

i just juiced 10000000000000 apples!!
damn tired! almost killed me! ahhhhh!
and i'm not going to eat apples for the next few months!

apple fatigue lah.........

HAHAHAHA

my cousin just told me earlier that his husband is going to read my blog everyday to LEARN ENGLISH from me because he thinks that my english is good. but seriously NO!! HAHAHA.
and roy please learn the good things and not the bad things from me yeah? :P

the power apple cutter!!

very happy with this amazing apple cutter that my colleague told me about!

over at my workplace, freshly squeeze fruit juices is consider a "high class" drink for my residents. some of them never even taste it before. so a few years ago, we collaborated with guangyang sec to set up this healthy corner at bh. so every week or month we try to arrange for donations and student volunteers to help juice some apple juices for them.

so friends, strangers... if you are interested to do some donation.. you can look for me yeah? we are looking for fruits to juice for them (: thank you

it's a tiring and messy prodecure. imagine cutting and peeling cartons of apples.. and the cleaning up is crazy!!

anyway back to my apple cutter.. my colleague told me about this really awesome apple cutter that you dont even have to go through all those troublesome steps to get your nicely cut apple.

the power apple cutter!! (got this from ikea)

one apple...

than u put ur cutter on top of the apple...

and PUSH!!!!!!!!! (see that easy!! )

nicely cut apples!!! POWER RIGHT!! really amazing. this is the first time i tried it and I LOVE IT!! hahaha save me the trouble of briefing them about the danger of knifes, etc... and ITS SO MUCH FASTER!!! :D

my colleague told me now they came up with one that can straight away debone the whole fish for you!!! wah wah WAH!! hahahaha. really amazing creation.. woooo!