Friday, December 31, 2010

2010 in a glance

time flies and it's less than 24 hours to 2011.

i'm not sure if 2010 is a good or bad year but anyhow it's coming to an end soon. it's scary how time passes that fast. unknowingly i'm turning 24 next year! like wtf? sometimes i still feels like a kid or the people around me are treating me as one.

kickoff 2010 with one pretty bad news (pray hard that it's getting better, i hope.) and departure of grandma dearest. her sudden departure left us helpless as we didnt manage to give a proper farewell to her. till now i still cant believe that she is gone. it's really not the same anymore and i still miss you all the time. yes things happen and often not within our control. treasure your loves one before it's too late. live each day like your last.

thinking back about what i did in 2010, i guess wearing that mortar board is my biggest achievement for 2010. making my dream into reality. (: contemplating if i should continue my education now but i dont want to go through the torturous days of rushing for assignments and preparing for exam. decisions decisions..

and i got onto the tv screen for the very first time!!! 2 different variety shows and became a 'mini' celebrity among my friends. hahahaha!

and i almost got into a mini mental breakdown! ha! i guess the preparation for anniversary was stressing me out that i feel like crying when it ended. tears of joy yes.

they are good friends i know through work, got closer to them this year and i'm really thankful to them for all the help rendered during this period, always there cracking jokes to make me laugh and not forgetting all the late nights with me at the office when i'm struggling to finish up my stuffs. thank you guosheng, yensiang, manru, boey & wuihou. <3

and i travelled to a few places this year!

January - phuket
June - bali
August - redang
September - Melb/ Perth
December - Myanmar

spent quite a bit on travelling. visited 3 different beaches this year, yes that's how much i heart beach holiday. maldives one day i will be there, wait for me.

so what's my travel plan for next year? i need more $$ please.

i think that briefly sum up my 2010, with nothing achieved but just endless heartaches. so what's next for 2011?

i have a few plans in mind for 2011 but im not sure when i should do it or should i even think about it? if only i can be more daring and brave.... we shall see..

Monday, December 27, 2010

christmas

back with lots of beautiful memories
and amazing stories to share.

Santa,
all i want for Christmas
"for the kids to be happy,
carefree and be filled with
lots of love always."

Saturday, December 18, 2010

it's tomorrow

i will be gone tomorrow till end of christmas to bring some joy and love to the children in myanmar but i'm sure i will end up receiving even more from them.

looking forward to another mind blowing experience and i will come back with lots of stories to share. (:

p.s. can i make this as my full time job santa?

Sunday, December 05, 2010


"I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best."
- Marilyn Monroe

saw this somewhere

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Hydroponic Garden with KCPPS

another year ended for our hydroponic garden. a lot more things for me to learn and handle.. lots of random issues like broken pipes, dead plants, 'mini waterfall', etc... but glad i did it and it's finally over for this year! :D

and yes definitely couldnt done with without the support from yulong! always bugging him whenever i encounter and issues. lots of frantic phone calls made to him! muahaha thank you for always being so patient with me!! and of course the wonderful teachers from KCPPS Mrs Retnam and Mr Soo for helping me with the cleaning and everything! thank you (: and please let me work with them again next year. finally manage to open up and feel comfortable with them, i really dont want to go through the trouble of knowing someone new all over again and having to overcome my 'shyness' when working with someone i'm not familiar with. hahahahahaha. *cross fingers*

oh and i miss the students although sometimes they are quite mischievous and hard to handle. haha.


and now looking forward to next year.. we are trying out 5 cycles or maybe more?
that day was discussing with Mr Soo and he make it sounds so exciting!! cant wait for it! :D
hopefully i can still remember all the steps for planning.

yea.. trying slowing to get my green fingers out. i hope (:

2010

2010 coming to an end soon.
and now i'm starting to think about setting my goals for 2011 and what exactly do i want to achieve?

like what the quote says

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” -- Mark Twain

roughly had an idea about what my plans are... but it's only a matter of when to execute it.
we shall see...

Friday, November 19, 2010

(:

thankful to have nice colleague who always leave little notes on my table to encourage me and keep me moving. (:

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

:D :D

TADAAAAH!!
finally got myself a new camera LX 5!! wheeeee
mad happy with it!
awesome, clear and beautiful photos FTW!!
and im going to snap snap snap and keep snapping!
muahahahaha!

Tuesday, November 09, 2010

omg i'm in love with............ JASON CHEN!
JASON CHEN IS <3 ! muahahahah!
his voice is damn awesome!

his first video that i watched.. one in a million and i'm hoooked! my gosh! he is really good.





okay i know this is a meaningless post.
and im just here to show how awesome jason chen is and yes i'm in love with him! hahahaha

kthanksbye!

Monday, November 08, 2010

December (:

i'm actually looking forward to the arrival of december this year although i hate the fact that i'm turning 1 year older soon. :( i cant believe that i'm turning 24 this year! wtf. why am i growing up that fast? take it slow please.

lots of activities to look forward to and ...... (: but i'm not going to pin too much hope on it. simply because i hate disappointment, anyway nobody likes disappointment.

and my dearest residents are extremely happy in december because it's christmas so it's the time for them to party, have fun and be happy! and i can already picture all their happy faces asking me exciting when is the next party for them and when is christmas coming, singing along to christmas carols.. and their favourite DING DONG BELL!! hehe.

some exciting plans in lovely december!

- y camp challenge 10th Dec till 12th Dec with my lovely residents!

- MYANMAR TRIP!! 18th Dec till 27th Dec, yes spending christmas there this year! :D cant wait to go over and catch up with the kids i met at the orphanage last year. seriously need this break.. a break away from phone calls, emails, facebook and any form of contact from anyone! ahh! sounds abit emo but seriously in need of some 'me' time and leading a simple, normal life. back to basic... and i also need time to seriously think about my plan for next year.. what exactly do i want to major in, who do i really want to work with? time to get serious and be serious because im really not a kid anymore!

- met these 2 adorable kids in aussie and they are coming to singapore this december! LB & BECCA I MISS YOOOU!! <3


- and of course my dearest buddy jean's fairytale wedding in 1st Jan! i'm so happy and excited for her! cant wait to see her in her gorgeous wedding gown and wear the bridemaid's dress that she prepared for us! oh yea pls CONTINUE TO SLIM DOWN!! stop eating and get moving! haha

so decemeber please come quickly, will you?
22 more days to go. (:

Monday, November 01, 2010

i have a voice...

To see a world through eyes that dont judge.
To love with hearts that dont discriminate.
To look at people for who they are
and accept them simply for that.
This is how children and adults
with Down Syndrome see the world.
They love. They feel. Unconditionally.
They are role models
and all the inspiration anyone needs.



and yes.. they are just waiting for acceptances from you and me. to be accepted, respect and included as part of the community.
just like us, they yearn to be loved and love. <3

Saturday, October 30, 2010

when 2 is better than 1

i always love to attend wedding because i get the chance to witness the magical moment when they share their vows and promises for each other. especially happy when it's my dear friends' wedding. (:

that night, i had a great time with my buddies from fujitsu. lots of laughters and catching up to do.

i always remember those crazily fun days we had at faplccc office. sharing silly jokes and things... giving me advice when i need it.. looking after me like their little sister. always feel loved whenever i'm with them.

i miss them so soo sooo much.

thank you for the great night!

and may all you wonderful people be healthy and happy always. (:


and thank you ken for inviting me to witness the magical moment between you and steph.
may you and steph fall in love with each other over and over again.
may you and steph love each other more and more each passing days.
congrats. (:

halloween!

finally make my way to halloween at safari after grumbling about it for the past 2 years! very happy that for once i didnt missed it! :D

the whole place is packed with people and actually queued for an hour plus just to spend 5 mins in the haunted house. worth it or not? i dont know seriously. but it's the company that matters.. that make waiting much more fun and bearable! hah (:

thankyou for a memorable halloweeeen!

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

well

whatever things that you want or need to say...
just say it

... because hearts are often broken by words left unspoken.


well, it seems really easy to follow but i'm a real loser that prefer to keep things to myself and never will have the courage to say it out!

Monday, October 18, 2010

read this somewhere..
something for you to ponder about :)

Five Regrets of the Dying By Bronnie Ware Platinum Quality Author

For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives.

People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learned never to underestimate someone's capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventuallyacceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.

When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people have had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn't work so hard.

This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friendsuntil their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.

When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.

Friday, October 15, 2010

and it's tomorrow!

yup our 12th anniversary is tom0rrow.
and once again im the lucky one to be in charge for this year.
and i seriously hope no more 3rd year please.
i'm tired of all the planning and with people bombarding me with silly questions when the answer is obviously there..
and really tired of leading...
please bless us with good weather tomorrow.
no rain and not too sunny please.. (:
and of course all my plannings to go accordingly
and no SCREW UP!

hang on ziqi for one more day
and everything will be over
and life will go on as per normal...
i hope..

Monday, October 11, 2010

i seriously need to

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

YOU LAAAAAH >:(

Friday, October 08, 2010

2 years (:

unknowingly i have worked here (bishan home, a place filled with little angels (: ) for 2 years!
well done ziqi! :D

and i also gotten my 2nd anniversary 'present'! hehehe

lately it has been a tiring and energy zapping journey. maybe it's a sign that i'm aging and no longer as energetic as before. :( but nevertheless i'm still hanging on and trying my best to enjoy every moment of it. well it's definitely not easy having to deal with volunteers...

often I have to remind myself to stay hyper and happy in order to engage my volunteers and make sure that they are fine even though there are moments when i just feel like sitting down quietly at one corner and not do anything. yeaa. that's the 'bad' side of my job. and often i feel that i'm putting on a mask when talking to people. hehehe. no choice when you have to deal with people. well... it's definitely tiring.. and i'm starting to feel tired...

but what drives me on... the smiles on my residents' faces each time after every activities/ sessions with the volunteers. all the fun they had and how they look forward to every sessions is what motivate me to hang on and want to give more to them. (:

i'm definitely loving every moment of it.. spending time with all my sweet and ever adorable residents and knowing them better with each passing days. we started off as strangers and now they have become a part of me.

time spent with them was definitely memorable.. they showed me the simplicity of life.. and taught me how to love and care for somebody...

and it warms my heart to hear them addressing me by my name or meimei (little sister, that's what i taught them to call me! heh) because it shows that they actually remembered who i am. and i have a place in their heart.

they cheer me up when i'm stress up over work and gave me the warm that i need.

they shared their food with me when they received special snacks from people... even though i told them it's okay.. you can have it but they will insist that i eat it together with them..

they protected me when somebody tried to disturb me and will even reprimand the other party and tell them that 'she is mine, you cant disturb her.'

they pack my table for me when they noticed how untidy my table is with papers around when im busy at work...

they make a card for me when i'm sick and absent from work and tell me to take good care of myself, eat well and sleep well..

yes.. that's how thoughtful they are..

and they are definitely the little angels in my heart (:

Monday, October 04, 2010


instead of asking me what's wrong, just give me a hug and tell me "it's okay, i'm here"

Friday, October 01, 2010

i dont know

something is not right.

i'm getting easily irritated recently. i'm not sure if it's because of the dumb things that the people around me are doing or questions that they asked; or is it because all the stress/ issues/ shits/ stupid demands that i'm facing and handling now.

sometimes i really feel like screaming out LOUD or just pick a fight with anyone for no reason. maybe behaving like a screwed up bitch will actually makes me feel better...

and i'm actually worried that one day i might just behave like that woman you seen on youtube scolding random strangers during my train ride! haha.

to make things worst, my headache refuses to go away. symptoms of stress? maybe

and no i know it's not pms because it's too early for that.

i lost my mood and enthusiasm for everything. and am really tired no matter how much i sleep or rest. no wait... did i even sleep? i dont know. a few friends are saying that i look different and tired now.. well it's time for more mask, vitamins and berry essence!

i guess there are times when im really tired.. tired of pretending to be cheerful and happy when i'm obviously not feeling that way.

yea.. i'm tired.. really tired of all the things that's going on now, tired of taking charge, tired of all the additional responsibilities piling up, tired of being happy, tired of being positive, tired of being nice, tired of being strong, tired of being taken for a ride, tired of myself, tired of everything and anything...

and elvis presley's song says it all!

i need a shoulder to lean on
i need somebody to, to tell my troubles to
no use denying, i'm close to crying
but what good, tell me, what good would my crying do?

i need somebody to help me
help me forget all those worries on my mind
and when im lonely, if someone would only
want to be sweet and kind

i need somebody, wont that somebody
please, please listen to my plea?
need that somebody, wont that somebody
come running to me?

i dont know... maybe i need a change of environment.. a break from everything..
and i know i need to sort this out myself.

i know it's a emo post.
dont worry much. just feel like ranting.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

5 mins of fame

i waited for years and came a long way just for this day...
a chance to put on the mortar board and graduation gown...
that moment of glory when we received our cert from the school chancellor...

and tadaah! this is my cert! :D

from a girl who flunk her o level and out of desperation and lost she applied for ITE...
to this very day when she finally graduated with a degree!
damn it's definitely not an easy journey for someone like me who sucks with her studies...
but anyhow i'm glad i did it and it's over now! :D

group pictures with fella mates!

and the traditional mortar board throwing ceremony! almost got hit a few times! HAHAHA

with my crazy and fun bo ling - ms jeannnie!
knowing her is one of best thing that happened to me during the entire course... (:
yay! we did it babe!!
cheers to our new life!!! :D

and with mummy sharon! wheeee
another babe i know during my course!

oh! read read read! i wrote this entry on my last day of schoool!

everything in life has an end

and yes.. i closed another chapter of my life..
time to venture out and create another exciting chapter! (:

just hold on and work hard towards your dream and it will come true.
and i did it!
so can you (:

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Mission trip to Myanmar - Mon State

*overdue reflection.. i went to myanmar in november 09!

it's indeed an eye opener for me as i went on my first mission trip to myanmar - Seik Phu Taung Youth Development Centre with a few strangers. but anyhow we became good friends after the trip.. (: i always wanted to go for one but i fear that i might not be able to take it as i'm very particular about TOILETS and those disgusting insects... anyway i'm glad that i manage to overcome my fear and embark on my first mission trip! woo.. when i was in myanmar.. i told myself "heck laaah. since i want to go, i shouldnt be afraid about this and that anymore..." very brave right?? hahah i know i know... :P



it took us 4 - 5 hours to travel from the city (yangon) to the village (mon state). so naturally i spent my entire trip SLEEPING! that was the best activity that i can think of. hahaha. if not what you suggest?


it was kind of awkward when we reached the orphanage.. the volunteers were standing one side and the children were standing at the other side. no one move but i can see all of them looking at us curiously... at that moment.. i am able to relate to how my volunteers felt when they met my residents for the first time.. unsure what to do and how to approach them... i was contemplating within myself "should i go over and say hi to them? or should i just stand here and wait?" wait for what? i dont know..

the one and only nicer looking classroom!

their dining area.. and there are lots of hungry dogs fighting for food.. it's kinda scary to hear the dogs growling and fighting whenever they spotted any food.

anyhow, i made the first move. went over and greet them.. and naturally the rest followed behind me.. yes.. we became 'buddy' immediately.

the kids were really happy to see us and always greet us with their bright and cheerful smiles. every morning when i went downstairs, i will see them waiting anxiously for us to come down and play with them.

(oh they love taking photographs!!)


and that's my nest for the whole trip! and glad i bought my mini pillow along!


on my first morning, as we have some leftover paint i started painting on them yes.. literally painting on their faces and hands! hahaha. everyone was waiting eagerly for their chance to be painted! hahaha. all the laughter when their friends saw their own masterpiece' on their friends.. all this little interaction and activities can make them really happy and excited even though it's just painting on their faces.

we had so much fun doing that!

every morning you will see a group of children with their big and cheerful smile waiting for you to wake up and have fun with them. and whenever they see you, they will quickly run towards you and shower you with lots of love! clinging on to you, calling your name and trying to talk to you in english (very limited words that they learnt but still can see them trying their best to talk to me)

the older ones are in school... so the younger ones are those stayed behind during the day.

at night when the older ones are back, we will have our nightly gathering mainly chatting and occasionally playing games.. we had so much fun teasing one another.. and once i even joined them for their night class.. they were so excited and took great care of me, lending me their textbooks and pointing out to me what their teacher is teaching..

and majority of them did really well in their studies.. scoring at least 90 and above. im impressed. :)

ocassionally we taught them simple children songs and you can see all their happy faces waiting eagerly to learn..

on our last night, they had a mini celebration for us. they put up performances and we planned games for them..

group pic with part of them on the last night. :(
going to miss them..

part of the group that i went with...

and one of the boy even wrote a note to me..


the few days there was tiring but really fun.
everything was really back to basic... no facebook, no handphone, no twitter!
i learned that i can survive without laptop, handphone and aircon.
and we did alot of running around (catching and badminton all day all night long! good exercise!)

i did things that i never thought i'm capable of.
i went to give, but ended up receiving even more from them.
through them, i get to learn the 'joy of giving'
and they taught me to stay positive and happy no matter how bad the condition is.
they reminded me to be thankful and appreciate what i have now..
and not take things for granted.

and im impress with their willingness to learn, help and take care of one another.
children as young as 8 or 10 are taking care of infants.
and they are really independent. of course i understand given the circumstances that they are in, they have no choice but to be independent...

unlike the kids in singapore who are definitely way fortunate than them..
who spend their day playing computer games and bugging their parents to buy new toys for them..
and complain when you ask them to help out...

anyway it was a GREAT experience!
and yes.. definitely will be back to visit them this year.
if only i can make this as my full time job..... (: