3 Min Management Course

Lesson 1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her
towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a
few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.

The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'

'It was Bob the next door neighbor,' she replies.

'Great!' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'

Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders/stakeholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.


Lesson 2:

A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'

Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'

Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity


Lesson 3:

A sales rep, administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'

'Me first! Me first!' says the administration clerk.
'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.' Puff! She's gone.
'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.' Puff! He's gone.

'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.

The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'

Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.


Lesson 4:

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'

The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.


Lesson 5:

A turkey was chatting with a bull. 'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree,' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'

'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. 'They're packed with nutrients.'

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story:
Bullsh*t might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.


Lesson 6:

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the e pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Moral of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!

frolick

was quite disappointed when we reached. turn out it's not a cafe, perhaps a booth selling yogurt by the roadside?

nope, they melted really fast. again DISAPPOINTED!

but yeah.. got to admit that the design is nice, a great place to camwhore! haha..

alright im here to hao lian my phone can?

take a look at my AWESOME NEW SPARKLING phone

wahahhaaa. another impulsive buy . germaine was showing this phone to me online and gosh it's amazing. and m1 is having an online promotion at 298! retail at 688. and so i bought it!!


lets put our hand together and welcome F700!! XP

good bye my dear K800I
thank you for accompanying me for the past 1 year.
i will miss you (:

okay im done showing-off my new phone.. wahahhaa

bkk photosss

according to phong, he is some popular singer in bangkok. handsome leh! XP

streets of yaowarat

WOOOHOOO!!

2ND TRIMESTER 2008 UPDATED CLASS SCHEDULE
Please note the following changes to the schedule emailed to you last Friday:

CSV3106 GAPS Professional Development 1:
- Jun 21 (Sat) class is changed to one week earlier, Jun 14 (Sat), 2pm – 9pm at 5th Floor Uweei Building.

so it means I CAN CONTINUE TO CELEBRATE MY 21st BIRTHDAY HAPPILY!! WAAHAHHAA. cheers.. so be patients and wait for my invitation okay? XP

OMG!!

back to morning shift after working night shift for like MONTHS. it was pretty boring as there is not much work to be done so...

anyway this is not the MAIN concern for this entry.

today is the official opening of our very own made in singapore 'singapore flyer'.
wah lao eh! the fireworks AWESOME AMAZING BEAUTIFUL FANTASTIC BRILLIANT! thank you to my colleague for informing me if not i would miss out something that amazing! THERE'S ALSO FIREWORKS AROUND THE FLYER! can you imagine?? goodnesss. and yes thanks god that im working today if not i wont get to witness something that magnificent. and thank you my dearest boss for choosing such a good location for the new office.. HOHO

nah no photos, too engross in watching.

WAH LAO EH!! !@#$%^&*

im super excited over my 21st birthday which falls on 27 JUNE friday (you better remember and get me a presentSS XP), started planning like FEW MONTHS ago.. anyway i've decided to celebrate it on 21st June (1 week before my actual birthday as my birthday falls on a friday and also because im fcuking schooling on 28th June). started looking around for the perfect chalet.. and well.. everything is settled. just waiting for confirmation from nsteam.

BUT

GUESS WHAT???

i got my fcuking time table back for next sem today. DAMNIT! IM FCUKING HAVING LESSON ON 21st JUNE!! KILL ME PLEASE!!!!!!!! and to make things worsst.. the lesson ends AT 9PM!!

tell me what's next...

THIS IS HILARIOUS!

Complaints Choir of Singapore

lyrics..

We get fined for almost anything
Drivers won't give chance when you want to change lane
The indoors are cold, the outdoors are hot;
And the humid air, it wrecks my hair
Those answering machines always make you hold
Only to hang up on you

When a pregnant lady gets on the train
Everyone pretends to be asleep
I'm stuck with my parents till I'm 35
Cause I can't apply for HDBWe don't recycle any plastic bags
But we purify our pee

*chorus:
What's wrong with Singapore?
Losing always makes me feel so sore
Cause if you're not the best
Then you're just one of the rest

My oh my Singapore
What exactly are we voting for?
What's not expressly permitted
is prohibited

“Ooh”

When I’m hungry at the food court,
I seePeople ‘chope’ seats with their tissue paper
To the aunty staying upstairs:
Your laundry’s dripping on my bed sheets
Please don’t squat on the toilet seats
And don’t clip your nails on MRT

Stray cats get into noisy affairs
At night my neighbor makes weird animal sounds
People put on fake accents to sound posh
And queue up 3 hours for donuts
Will I ever live till eighty fiveto collect my CPF?

*chorus

Singaporeans too kiasu! (so scared to lose)
Singaporeans too kiasi! (so scared o die)
Singaporeans too kiabor!(scared of their wives)
Maybe we’re just too stressed out! (even the kids)

“Ooh”

Old National Library was replaced by an ugly tunnel
Singaporean men can’t take independent women
People blow their nose into the swimming pool
And fall asleep on my shoulder in the train

Singapore’s national bird is the crane (the one with yellow steel girders)
Real estate agents’ leaflets clogging up my mailbox (en bloc, en bloc; en bloc, en bloc)
Why can’t we be buried when we die?
No one wants to climb Bukit Timah with me

*chorus

“Ooh”

There are not enough public holidays
My neighbor sings KTV all night
Wedding dinners never start on time
My hair is always cut shorter than I want
Channel 5 commercials are way too long
Why do men turn bad?

*At first it was to speak more mandarin
Then it was to speak proper English
What’s wrong with my powderful Singlish?

People sit down during rock concerts
We have to pay for tap water at restaurants
ERP gantries are everywhere
But I can still see traffic jams on the road
All the bus stops have tilted benches to keep you off balance

*chorus

pig sty