doraemon choco!

thank you buddies for making this specially for me. (:

sunflowers do make me happy. (:

Hydroponic Garden with KCPPS

another year ended for our hydroponic garden. a lot more things for me to learn and handle.. lots of random issues like broken pipes, dead plants, 'mini waterfall', etc... but glad i did it and it's finally over for this year! :D

and yes definitely couldnt done with without the support from yulong! always bugging him whenever i encounter and issues. lots of frantic phone calls made to him! muahaha thank you for always being so patient with me!! and of course the wonderful teachers from KCPPS Mrs Retnam and Mr Soo for helping me with the cleaning and everything! thank you (: and please let me work with them again next year. finally manage to open up and feel comfortable with them, i really dont want to go through the trouble of knowing someone new all over again and having to overcome my 'shyness' when working with someone i'm not familiar with. hahahahahaha. *cross fingers*

oh and i miss the students although sometimes they are quite mischievous and hard to handle. haha.


and now looking forward to next year.. we are trying out 5 cycles or maybe more?
that day was discussing with Mr Soo and he make it sounds so exciting!! cant wait for it! :D
hopefully i can still remember all the steps for planning.

yea.. trying slowing to get my green fingers out. i hope (:

2010

2010 coming to an end soon.
and now i'm starting to think about setting my goals for 2011 and what exactly do i want to achieve?

like what the quote says

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” -- Mark Twain

roughly had an idea about what my plans are... but it's only a matter of when to execute it.
we shall see...

(:

thankful to have nice colleague who always leave little notes on my table to encourage me and keep me moving. (:

new hairstyle! :D

:)

:D :D

TADAAAAH!!
finally got myself a new camera LX 5!! wheeeee
mad happy with it!
awesome, clear and beautiful photos FTW!!
and im going to snap snap snap and keep snapping!
muahahahaha!

omg i'm in love with............ JASON CHEN!
JASON CHEN IS <3 ! muahahahah!
his voice is damn awesome!

his first video that i watched.. one in a million and i'm hoooked! my gosh! he is really good.





okay i know this is a meaningless post.
and im just here to show how awesome jason chen is and yes i'm in love with him! hahahaha

kthanksbye!

December (:

i'm actually looking forward to the arrival of december this year although i hate the fact that i'm turning 1 year older soon. :( i cant believe that i'm turning 24 this year! wtf. why am i growing up that fast? take it slow please.

lots of activities to look forward to and ...... (: but i'm not going to pin too much hope on it. simply because i hate disappointment, anyway nobody likes disappointment.

and my dearest residents are extremely happy in december because it's christmas so it's the time for them to party, have fun and be happy! and i can already picture all their happy faces asking me exciting when is the next party for them and when is christmas coming, singing along to christmas carols.. and their favourite DING DONG BELL!! hehe.

some exciting plans in lovely december!

- y camp challenge 10th Dec till 12th Dec with my lovely residents!

- MYANMAR TRIP!! 18th Dec till 27th Dec, yes spending christmas there this year! :D cant wait to go over and catch up with the kids i met at the orphanage last year. seriously need this break.. a break away from phone calls, emails, facebook and any form of contact from anyone! ahh! sounds abit emo but seriously in need of some 'me' time and leading a simple, normal life. back to basic... and i also need time to seriously think about my plan for next year.. what exactly do i want to major in, who do i really want to work with? time to get serious and be serious because im really not a kid anymore!

- met these 2 adorable kids in aussie and they are coming to singapore this december! LB & BECCA I MISS YOOOU!! <3


- and of course my dearest buddy jean's fairytale wedding in 1st Jan! i'm so happy and excited for her! cant wait to see her in her gorgeous wedding gown and wear the bridemaid's dress that she prepared for us! oh yea pls CONTINUE TO SLIM DOWN!! stop eating and get moving! haha

so decemeber please come quickly, will you?
22 more days to go. (:

i have a voice...

To see a world through eyes that dont judge.
To love with hearts that dont discriminate.
To look at people for who they are
and accept them simply for that.
This is how children and adults
with Down Syndrome see the world.
They love. They feel. Unconditionally.
They are role models
and all the inspiration anyone needs.



and yes.. they are just waiting for acceptances from you and me. to be accepted, respect and included as part of the community.
just like us, they yearn to be loved and love. <3

when 2 is better than 1

i always love to attend wedding because i get the chance to witness the magical moment when they share their vows and promises for each other. especially happy when it's my dear friends' wedding. (:

that night, i had a great time with my buddies from fujitsu. lots of laughters and catching up to do.

i always remember those crazily fun days we had at faplccc office. sharing silly jokes and things... giving me advice when i need it.. looking after me like their little sister. always feel loved whenever i'm with them.

i miss them so soo sooo much.

thank you for the great night!

and may all you wonderful people be healthy and happy always. (:

and thank you ken for inviting me to witness the magical moment between you and steph.

may you and steph fall in love with each other over and over again.

may you and steph love each other more and more each passing days.

congrats. (:

halloween!

finally make my way to halloween at safari after grumbling about it for the past 2 years! very happy that for once i didnt missed it! :D

the whole place is packed with people and actually queued for an hour plus just to spend 5 mins in the haunted house. worth it or not? i dont know seriously. but it's the company that matters.. that make waiting much more fun and bearable! hah (:

thankyou for a memorable halloweeeen!

well

whatever things that you want or need to say...
just say it
... because hearts are often broken by words left unspoken.

well, it seems really easy to follow but i'm a real loser that prefer to keep things to myself and never will have the courage to say it out!

read this somewhere..
something for you to ponder about :)

Five Regrets of the Dying By Bronnie Ware Platinum Quality Author

For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives.

People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learned never to underestimate someone's capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventuallyacceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.

When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people have had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn't work so hard.

This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friendsuntil their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.

When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.

and it's tomorrow!

yup our 12th anniversary is tom0rrow.
and once again im the lucky one to be in charge for this year.
and i seriously hope no more 3rd year please.
i'm tired of all the planning and with people bombarding me with silly questions when the answer is obviously there..
and really tired of leading...
please bless us with good weather tomorrow.
no rain and not too sunny please.. (:
and of course all my plannings to go accordingly
and no SCREW UP!

hang on ziqi for one more day
and everything will be over
and life will go on as per normal...
i hope..

i seriously need to

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

YOU LAAAAAH >:(

2 years (:

unknowingly i have worked here (bishan home, a place filled with little angels (: ) for 2 years!
well done ziqi! :D

and i also gotten my 2nd anniversary 'present'! hehehe

lately it has been a tiring and energy zapping journey. maybe it's a sign that i'm aging and no longer as energetic as before. :( but nevertheless i'm still hanging on and trying my best to enjoy every moment of it. well it's definitely not easy having to deal with volunteers...

often I have to remind myself to stay hyper and happy in order to engage my volunteers and make sure that they are fine even though there are moments when i just feel like sitting down quietly at one corner and not do anything. yeaa. that's the 'bad' side of my job. and often i feel that i'm putting on a mask when talking to people. hehehe. no choice when you have to deal with people. well... it's definitely tiring.. and i'm starting to feel tired...

but what drives me on... the smiles on my residents' faces each time after every activities/ sessions with the volunteers. all the fun they had and how they look forward to every sessions is what motivate me to hang on and want to give more to them. (:

i'm definitely loving every moment of it.. spending time with all my sweet and ever adorable residents and knowing them better with each passing days. we started off as strangers and now they have become a part of me.

time spent with them was definitely memorable.. they showed me the simplicity of life.. and taught me how to love and care for somebody...

and it warms my heart to hear them addressing me by my name or meimei (little sister, that's what i taught them to call me! heh) because it shows that they actually remembered who i am. and i have a place in their heart.

they cheer me up when i'm stress up over work and gave me the warm that i need.

they shared their food with me when they received special snacks from people... even though i told them it's okay.. you can have it but they will insist that i eat it together with them..

they protected me when somebody tried to disturb me and will even reprimand the other party and tell them that 'she is mine, you cant disturb her.'

they pack my table for me when they noticed how untidy my table is with papers around when im busy at work...

they make a card for me when i'm sick and absent from work and tell me to take good care of myself, eat well and sleep well..

yes.. that's how thoughtful they are..

and they are definitely the little angels in my heart (:

instead of asking me what's wrong, just give me a hug and tell me "it's okay, i'm here"

i dont know

something is not right.

i'm getting easily irritated recently. i'm not sure if it's because of the dumb things that the people around me are doing or questions that they asked; or is it because all the stress/ issues/ shits/ stupid demands that i'm facing and handling now.

sometimes i really feel like screaming out LOUD or just pick a fight with anyone for no reason. maybe behaving like a screwed up bitch will actually makes me feel better...

and i'm actually worried that one day i might just behave like that woman you seen on youtube scolding random strangers during my train ride! haha.

to make things worst, my headache refuses to go away. symptoms of stress? maybe

and no i know it's not pms because it's too early for that.

i lost my mood and enthusiasm for everything. and am really tired no matter how much i sleep or rest. no wait... did i even sleep? i dont know. a few friends are saying that i look different and tired now.. well it's time for more mask, vitamins and berry essence!

i guess there are times when im really tired.. tired of pretending to be cheerful and happy when i'm obviously not feeling that way.

yea.. i'm tired.. really tired of all the things that's going on now, tired of taking charge, tired of all the additional responsibilities piling up, tired of being happy, tired of being positive, tired of being nice, tired of being strong, tired of being taken for a ride, tired of myself, tired of everything and anything...

and elvis presley's song says it all!

i need a shoulder to lean on
i need somebody to, to tell my troubles to
no use denying, i'm close to crying
but what good, tell me, what good would my crying do?

i need somebody to help me
help me forget all those worries on my mind
and when im lonely, if someone would only
want to be sweet and kind

i need somebody, wont that somebody
please, please listen to my plea?
need that somebody, wont that somebody
come running to me?

i dont know... maybe i need a change of environment.. a break from everything..
and i know i need to sort this out myself.

i know it's a emo post.
dont worry much. just feel like ranting.