that two months.

i realised i didn't blog a reflection about this trip. HOW CAN. it's one of my bucket list item yo! hahah so here you go.

i embarked on my first solo trip in july last year and no doubt i learned lots during these two months. i learn that sometimes you need to take that first step and things will naturally fall in place. you want it oh so badly, so you will make sure that you will achieve it; your end goal.

the truth is, i didn't plan much for this trip. just bought my ticket, emailed the counterpart in chiangmai and off i go. one day before the trip, i have friends asking me "what if they didn't pick you up at the airport?" btw, i didn't even check the address of the organisation that i contacted! seriously sometimes i'm too trusting or maybe too simple minded that i tend not to think too deeply about things concerning myself. ziqi, time to love yourself more. not every stranger you meet is nice. sometimes even your closest loved ones betray you too. that's life. i need take note of my "anything also can" attitude and not let it appear too often.

i'm glad my whole trip turn out to be fantastic and again i'm thankful for everyone i met there, treating me like their family and taking great care of me. i'm totally touch by their ability to love me (a stranger) and yes this is something that i'm definitely going to learn from them.

during my trip, i met this group of youth from new york. boy am i glad to have their company. they kept me company during my first few weeks in chiangmai. it was definitely less lonely with them around. parting was definitely hard as i had no idea when will i see them again. took down their address and promised to send them a card which i haven't done it till now. damn chloe damn. stop being lazy and send it!

after they left, i worked with the group from singapore. i was really excited about it after all it's always nice to meet fellow singaporeans when you are away from home. well, let's just say in the end it didnt turn out as well with the previous group. the team wasn't as bonded or maybe it's just me. joining them, i learnt the importance of the role of an encouraging leader. a leader who dont just scold/ critisize but affirm and encourage. a leader who set a good example. and i will reflect too on the way i handle situations.

working with them let me see how sometimes we come with our own set of "oh so wonderful" perfect ideas that we want to impose on them; but we forgotten whether it's feasible in their circumstances. if it's really what they need. are we meeting their needs or ours? is meeting our KPI that important that sometimes we forgot the process while enjoying it. sometimes we should always take a step back and look at things from the other party's perspectives too; to understand their stand. trust me it's not that hard. yes this is another important reminder to self.

within that one and a half month, i have learned and experiences things that i never know i'm capable of. i ride an elephant, did bamboo rafting anddd bunge JUMPED. to date, my biggest achievement ever! 

i rebuild a playground, dig holes, lay bricks like a pro and totally understand how hard the foreign workers are working in singapore. all the tough jobs that require us to use so much of our physical energy. all the jobs that no one want to do.

well, the amazing thing is the kids there even stayed back with us on weekends to work together to rebuild their playground! beat that! they do not need all these expensive gadgets to be happy and have fun.

the people that i encounter everywhere are always polite and nice. and yes i will learn from them to be polite and nice to everyone i meet. remember to always stay humble and say thank you.

somehow i really enjoy this little adventure of mine and actually looking foward to plan for another trip. i always have this urge to just leave again. if only my life can be that carefree that i can just leave as and when i like. it's easy for me to leave but never easy for the one whom i left behind during the pursue of my own dreams. my parents and grandma, always having to make them worry about me. remember you are growing up and they are growing old too. dilemma when byou want to always be there with them but another part of you will always say "you only live once! just go for it! why care so much and you wont want to end up regretting when you are old!" but again i dont want to regret not being there for them too.

it's addictive to just disappear for a few months not having to care or worry about anything. you just have to care about yourself. sounds like running away from problems but i feel we need a break too!! alright i will still continue to plan for trips but maybe a shorter one? haha