grandma dearest

i was looking through those photos we took with grandma dearest on chinese new year and it bought tears to my eyes. we demanded to take pictures with her which she strongly refused as she complained about her untidy hair. (hahah! that's her!) but somehow we managed to convince her or rather i manage to force her (by holding down her arms!! hehehe) that she looks pretty and her hair is just fine. she was all smiley and cheerful when taking the pictures with us. but now she is lying in the hospital unconscious.. fighting for her life. i hate to say this but i dont like the idea of spending my next cny without her.. because it's never going to be the same.

grandma dearest with her other grandchildren

grandma dearest with part of her daughters


everyone hate to see her leave but will it bring more suffering to her if she continues in this way? i dont know. but one thing for sure.. we are not ready to lose her yet.

how i wish it's all nothing but a bad bad dream...

i haven't been a very filial granddaughter to her yet. lesser trips were made to her house as we grew older. from a weekly visit i ended up visiting her once a month and sometimes once a few months..

and yes i regret not spending more time with her. and yet again.. sometimes you need to lose before you know how to cherish. (fret not i havent lose her yet! she will be fine) i remember her always asking me to eat whenever i visit her. always making it a point to cook my favourite cabbage (that's my favourite dish cooked by her and i will do anything to eat it again.) whenever i'm there. that's her.. always worried about us.. remembering our likes and dislikes... she is an angel to us all. :)

grandma dearest,

doctor told us that you might not make it past today. but you did it and manage to prove him wrong!! (although we almost lost you.. but you did it in the end with your determination! :)well done!!) so miracles do happen after all. and being the stubborn you.. i'm sure it will happen to you tooo.

i know you are tired... and i will let you rest a little bit more.. but you must remember and promise to wake up when it's time too. because we are all waiting for you. your children, grandchildren and great grandchildren... everyone of us.

with love,
your dearest granddaughter. :)